So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
