Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize