at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
