i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Randomize
