His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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