I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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