So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
