i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize