We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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