all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
