So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize