I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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