if i can run in heels then i can drive
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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