I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
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I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
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The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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