A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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