I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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