Sponge bath it is.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
