I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
