i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
