Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
