he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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