we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
