After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
