Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
