My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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