Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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