I love black thongs
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize