C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize