just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize