Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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