To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
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An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
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I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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