things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
