remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sorry my hands just texted you
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
