If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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