There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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