I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
