After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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