im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
