I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
