So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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