the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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