I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
