Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
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perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
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Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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