the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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