It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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