I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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