Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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