he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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