I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
