so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
