He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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