God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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