I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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