The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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